That’s where I have a choice:

Should I play the part of the Black Knight and tell her that she is wrong, that her decisions were wrong, that her doctors were wrong, that the formula she is using is poisoning her baby and killing our environment?
Or shall I play the part of the Enlightened One. Listening attentively, offering sympathy for the hard road and rocky journey that she has travelled?

It has been my experience that accosting a new mother with facts and figures and recriminations, and railing against the society that has caused the ultimate downfall of civilization through the production of infant formulas, will do nothing more than add to the woman’s justifications and worse, turn her away. It creates the stereotype of the hardcore Lactivist, who preaches damnation to all that succumb to the idolatry of the golden baby bottle.

But by offering my quiet support and sympathy, I create a bond of trust with a new mother. As that bond grows I may yet have the opportunity to explain to her about the misinformation she was fed. and maybe even have the opportunity to explain to her about re-lactation, milk banks, or even prepare her for the birth of her next child .Thus a new mother suffering misery, self-doubt and guilt, becomes assured that failure is not hers to shoulder alone, that there is support and help available to her, whatever the outcome is. Advocacy doesn't have to be spoken words or printed pages. Advocacy can also just mean setting an example. Sitting quietly and nursing your happy healthy baby can be the biggest show of support. Bonds of friendship and trust can grow through quiet acceptance.....which later leads to open conversation. Who knows where those conversations will lead?

I have had my moments being the Lactivist. There is a time and a place for vocal advocacy, times where we need to stand up for our rights and let society know that change MUST happen. But I prefer the role of breastfeeding supporter, quietly working within society to normalize breastfeeding, by being the example that others may follow, and perhaps even look to for support in the future. That is good enough for me.